Sonali and Yogesh Jain, both visually impaired and married for five years, give us serious relationship goals!
(This story is republished from Inclov’s blog page, which features the “I Am CapAble” series. Inclov strives to provide equal and inclusive opportunity to everyone looking for love.)
The city of Delhi brings forth a lot of fond memories for me. The quiet roar of traffic, the overwhelming taste of the spices of the dhabas I frequented on the streets, and my subtle romance with literature and culture of the city: Delhi felt home to me. I graduated in English Literature from St. Steven’s College, Delhi University. That’s when I met Yogesh. He’s visually impaired, just as I am. I lost my sight at birth, but for him, it was a more gradual process. We complemented each other’s inadequacies, and before long, we found ourselves enjoying each other’s company immensely. We knew each other since our school days, but our relationship intensified in college.
We had a stable relationship for 5-6 years, before we decided to take the leap. He is an Assistant Manager with Union Bank of India, so he was financially well-settled. I had completed my Masters in social work from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai, and I moved forward to work with a phenomenal non-profit organization, Saksham. We work towards the inclusion and empowerment of people with visual impairment. Yogesh has always been supportive of all my professional endeavors, and it seemed almost natural for us to take our relationship up a notch by committing to spend our lives together.
Initially, I do admit, I was anxious. I had a sheltered upbringing in a joint family, and leaving them behind to move into a new setting with unfamiliar people frazzled me. I needed to assure myself that I would be capable of fulfilling my marital obligations and would adjust well with my new family. My connection and comfort with Yogesh did, however, make the transition easier for me. Apart from my own nervousness, I also had to deal with the anxieties of my parents. They wanted me to take some more time and be more settled before I took the plunge, but Yogesh has been nothing short of an ideal partner, and we were eager to settle down together. It did take some convincing, but Yogesh was as welcome in my family as I was in his.
My marriage is complete with Yogesh. He is understanding, caring and fulfills my every need. He stands behind me, and supports me unconditionally. We do have our low moments, but we are no different from any other couple. I am temperamental and Yogesh has his own pace of doing things. I am planned and structured, and he takes things one day at a time. This brings up occasional disagreements, but we move past all of them, because we love each other, and that’s enough to keep us going.
We are a little apprehensive about having children because taking care of them is a huge responsibility and commitment. We aren’t there yet, but we do intend to have kids in the future. My impairment is no hurdle for I truly believe that each of us face similar challenges as parents.
Our issues or conflict points may be different, but it is not impossible. Nobody is truly prepared at first, but with time, we learn and grow and adapt.
Personally, I believe that a fundamental aspect of a strong relationship is companionship and connection. Yogesh and I have been close knit friends before we made a couple, and that is important. We know each other’s cores, and thus, we complement each other well. He was a senior to me in college, and since then, he has remained to be someone I can rely on, and count for anything and everything. There have been moments when everyone abandoned me, except him. He always stayed.
We’ve been married for 5 years now. In totality, we’ve spent almost 11 years of our lives as a couple, and I can barely keep count of our memorable moments together. I am a moody introvert. Long before Yogesh, I forged a relationship with fiction and music. Detective stories, romance and numerous other genres lit up my day. A Train to Pakistan by Khushwant Singh is my all-time favorite. Yogesh understood my love for adventure and often surprised me by taking me out for 2-3 day short excursions. Manali was our special place. We were besotted by its beauty. We experienced snow for the first time. The feeling of cold crystal flakes on my skin, the soft groaning of trees that surrounded us, I only fell more in love with him.
Having him with me made me treasure my travel expeditions more. For those of you, who haven’t come across your perfect star-crossed lover, don’t lose hope. Meeting the right kind of people is important. Apprehension and hopelessness develop when you feel different from other people. Interact with the kind of people you see a future with, and visit places where you are likely to encounter such people. Platforms like Inclov are a great beginning. Keep your mind open to innumerable possibilities. Even women can take the first step in a relationship. They must not be dissuaded. We must make peace with modern times. In the 21st century, where most lovers lose hope for finding a long-lasting partner, I’m fortunate to have found mine. Stay hopeful and you will find yours too. The world is a chaotic place, but it’s beautiful when experienced with a soul-mate.
-An original story of Sonali Jain
Written by Meghna Prakash
For everyone who has considered love an impossibility, there’s Inclov, the world’s first matchmaking app focusing on people with disability and health disorders to find love. Over the last few months, the team at Inclov has come across many who are afraid that they are incapable of being loved or accepted. That they are too different.
Inclov wants to break this stereotype with the “I Am CapAble” series. We now belong to a society of modernists, of socially accepting people. Everybody wants to settle down with an ideal partner who caters to their every need and understands them. Inclov is releasing a series of love stories of ten couples over the next ten Sundays, who are unique, both in their abilities and the intrinsic nature of their relationship with their companions. What they wish to demonstrate is different kinds of relationships exist, and against our preconceived notions and fears, all of us can find love. All of us can find a soulmate. All of us can be happy.
Click here to download Inclov Mobile App.